Le Break-up en Francais

So I normally don’t talk about actually semi-personal things in the blog updates, but I figured this one was worth mentioning … and might be therapeutic to write?? Haha, we’ll see. So I met a French guy my age, in grad school here, through one of the other American assistants. I actually met him the first night I went out here … yes, good timing, I know, since there was a lot of joking, pre-departure speculation that I was coming to France to find a boyfriend/husband. To put that speculation to rest, that definitely wasn’t my priority in coming … but we all know that I wouldn’t stray from any potential opportunities to meet some quality French garcons, haha. Anyway, we hung out pretty consistently for the first month I was here, and it was great because I got to know a lot of his French friends whom I wouldn’t have otherwise met. However, this short-lived liaison reminded me, as I learned the first time I spent time in France, that the concept of dating simply doesn’t exist here. You are either together from, essentially, day 1 of meeting/expressing interest in each other … or you’re not together. I tried to explain to him that in the US it is normal to date for an extended period of time, see if there is enough mutual interest to pursue a legit relationship, etc … and that it would be pretty absurd to declare someone your boyfriend/girlfriend before at least a month or two of seeing each other. Well, he was pretty offended by the idea, and I guess that is why the French think it is normal to have a new bf/gf after knowing someone for just a couple of days. In one sense, this is a good thing because it does demonstrate a very loyal, dedicated (and romantic?) side to the culture …but on the other hand, it probably leads to a lot of unnecessary beginning & endings to relationships, in my opinion. Once both of us realized that the “relationship” (which would have been recognized, in good ‘ole US culture, as the initial dating period that just fizzles out & requires no formal break-up awkwardness) wasn’t going to work, we met up one afternoon to basically go through the break-up convo. It’s true, I actually consulted my French-English dictionary before going because I’m not exactly eloquent in English in such a situation, let alone in French. So if nothing else, at least I have learned some new French vocab in the romance/relationship domain, haha. And, yes, I have left out some details in the above synopsis, but I just wanted to voice my slight frustration with the Franco-American cultural differences in relationship styles/meaning. And I have started reading Eat, Pray, Love again, a significant feat because I rarely re-read anything … I think this will become my post-breakup book for life :) Thanks for listening …